टी...

I called her once more.
She said she's sorry: she has to work.
I doubt this be the real reason.
She assures she's telling the truth, but this is not what I'm talking about.
It's quite evident, I think, she's not so involved as I am.
I told her goodbye, good work and I hanged up.
She sent me an sms telling she's really sorry.
I cannot stand this torturing pain I feel.
I talked to friends about it. I tried to work it out with them.
They asked me why am I taking it so serious, why am I making things so heavy.
Some of them just talked to her: she said she does not believe long distance relationship can ever work. It's not a matter of being interested or not, she doesn't want complications.
She passed through it already.
A resonable position, they say.
A good girl with her head working.
Well, I'm pissed of with it.
I cannot stand this kind of things: just because you failed it once, it's a thing it will generally fail. And I cannot however accept a risk-free behaviour. Not for such a thing, anyway. Life is caos, it is warm and cold, pain and pleasure. It is passion, obsession, it's someone you cannot breath without. But you have to make room for that, you've to start with it: you have to run the risk.
If you get hurt, well, you'll come back and start again.
Because there's no sense living without this. No sense at all.
That's true for me, however.
That's how I feel.
And I think I don't know if I like her anymore.